The Middle School Transition

Is your child headed to middle school next year? If so, this is an exciting time in their lives! It also begins a transition phase from childhood to adolescence. This means it is a great time to have some tough conversations about what is to come.  

For many, elementary school is a place where kids can be kids. Bullying is not tolerated. Teachers work hard to help students work through their differences as well as preserve innocence. In middle school things start to change. Children go into middle school as children and by the time they finish 8^th grade they know pretty much all the things we tried to protect them from knowing. They are teenagers with their own goals, ideas, and beliefs.  

When our children are young, they are taught how to behave and believe others should also behave similarly. When in elementary, this kind of sheltering can work very well. However, as we know, middle school-aged children are not as innocent. They are curious about adult things. Some middle schoolers start to swear, smoke, or even have sex. This can be incredibly confusing or scary to an unprepared 6^th grader. Some of your children’s friends will continue the same path with your child while others will start to develop different interests and join other friend groups.  

Having some short but meaningful conversations about the changes to come will help your child be prepared. It will also confirm for your child how open you are to having tough conversations, so they will be more likely to come to you with questions or concerns.  

I will give some examples of dialog to help you get started. “Hey son, next year is an exciting year. Starting middle school is an important milestone in your life. It means you will begin the transition from child to teenager. Some of the changes you or your friends go through may be hard though to handle at times, so I wanted to chat about that. In middle school some of your friends may try to grow up too fast or they may start to like sports or hobbies you don’t really like which means your friendships may change. It may sound kind of scary to hear that as I know you have some great friends, but this is perfectly normal. 

Sadly, some of the older middle schoolers will also start to do adult things and break rules. The important thing is that you stay true to who you are. If your friends start to swear or try a vape, you don’t have to. You get to decide what path you want to take between here and high school.” Another important conversation may be about how mean other children can be in middle school.  This conversation may sound like "Hey with middle school coming I wanted to chat about something. Many kids in middle school like to dress and act in ways that make them feel cool. They try to fit in. Some kids will even make fun of others for any kind of difference they see. So, these kids may make fun of people who wear glasses, who are overweight, or look or act in any way they see as odd. I say this because I want you to be prepared. You will get made fun of. Sometimes kids will be mean to you or your friends. If other kids are being mean remember that means that they have a problem, not you. Please don’t let their words hurt you so deeply that you change who you are. Be ready to stand up for yourself so that way mean kids will know you are not an easy target. There are many things to look forward to in middle school so I don’t want to make it sound like it will be all bad. However, I want to be honest with you that some not so good things will happen too."

I hope these words help you get some tough conversations started! There is no perfect way to parent, but if this blog spoke to you, please check out my website. Parenting is hard, let's do it together!