A Screen to Focus on?

Worried your child will act out in public, so you give them a screen to focus on? 

Sounds like a good blog topic!  

Personally, my children have outgrown the days of throwing tantrums, or food, in a restaurant, but I can defiantly remember the mixture of emotions these instances evoked! I still dislike grocery shopping, but these days it is refreshing to have a teen shopper helping me as opposed to the days I had to remind them before entering the store that "if I have to warn you three times about your behavior you will be sitting in the grocery cart for the rest of this trip."  Ahhh memories!  

I am positive that every parent reading this blog can relate to the above examples, and for a good reason; children are not born programed to "behave." It is our job to teach them how to behave in a verity of settings. The process of teaching them is exhausting. Kids learn through consistency, repetition, and actively practicing the things we are trying to teach. We absolutely should talk to our children about expected behaviors in public, but we also should not be surprised when they do the opposite of what we are trying to teach. Be prepared for them to mess up. Be prepared to remind them of the behaviors you expect from them. Lastly, be prepared to be embarrassed! 

I think the last point of being embarrassed deserves its own paragraph! I know many parents give their children an iPad to focus on in an attempt to avoid feeling embarrassed. But let's dissect this train of thought. When children are young most people expect that they will do embarrassing things in public so it may not be as bad as you think. However, if they don't learn valuable skills like how to order their own food, make small talk with a cashier, or that it's okay to feel bored at a sporting event without a screen in front of their nose, you may one day face embarrassment on a whole other level. Just like many things in life, we parents need to put in hard work today to make life not only easier on our future selves but our children's future selves as well. I also think it is a good time to mention that if the thought of your child embarrassing you in public causes you so much anxiety that it makes you parent in a way that contradicts your own values, it sounds like a great time to seek help yourself. Nothing should hold you back, including you!  

By simply letting your child experience life in public, they are soaking up valuable social skills that will set them up for success. If their eyes are focused on watching what is going on around them instead of a screen, they will see how you interact with the world around you. They will hear how you talk to strangers. They will see smiles on people's faces when you hold a door open for them. They will learn that being around people in public is a normal part of life. So many people struggle with social anxiety and you know what, it won't get better unless we practice being in social settings.  

So please parents, let yourself be embarrassed. Do the hard work when your children are small. Think about the long term. You got this! Parenting is hard work. Let's do it together!