Body Image, and The Way to Handle it.

A topic that has been coming up in my office quite a lot lately is body image. Many of the children and teens I work with point out the things about their bodies they don't like. A common thing they don't like is how much they weigh. Now, I could write a whole book about the many different reasons our youth may obsess overweight, but for the purposes of this blog I will keep the focus how we as parents can help our children navigate this delicate issue.  

First let's focus on what not to do. As you read this blog, I would hope my following words would seem very obvious. However, I cannot tell you how many kids come to my office saying that their own parents are reaffirming their negative self-image. Some of the more obvious things to avoid are any form or name calling or body shaming. Please do not call your child names or give them the message that other people will judge them for their weight! We live in a world of judgment. At home they need to know that they are loved and their value truly comes from within. Also, remember your child is learning through your actions and opinions of others, as well as yourself. Do you make fun of overweight people? Do you comment on your thick thighs? If so, the message is loud and clear that you are judgmental about body image. Your opinion matters so much to your child. Your voice will replay inside their minds. Simply put, do you want to contribute to positive or negative self-talk?  

So now let's turn our focus on what to do. As a fellow parent from a food focused family, I can completely relate to the reasons why we worry about our child's weight. We want our children to feel confident, healthy, and empowered. So, guess what my advice is going to be...........focus on building those three things. Let's look at each point as it relates to this topic.  

If your child is debating not going to a school dance because of their concerns over body image, you can build confidence by letting them know the beautiful qualities you see in them.  Do they have grandma's eyes that are stunning? Do they have one feature you have noticed they do seem to appreciate? If so, start there. Let them know that you can take time shopping for an outfit until they find something they feel confident in. Then when shopping, take along a positive soul they trust who will help further a sense of self pride.  

The next focus point is health. These are kids/teens we are talking about. They likely do not understand that carbs turn into sugar, that focusing more on things like protein and fiber will not only make them feel better but will naturally aid in keeping weight under control. They probably don't understand the huge link between inactivity and depression.... which can lead to making unhealthy food choices.  

The last point of empowerment is also incredibly important. Once your child decides to make changes, they may become overwhelmed and say they just can't do it. Always be that encouraging voice. Always give the message that they can do hard things. The ultimate goal is for them to truly believe in themselves, but if they don't yet, you as their parent can have a major impact on them beginning this empowering journey!  

If this blog spoke to you, please feel free to check out my webpage for more real-life examples of tough conversations to have with your children. Parenting is tough, let's do it together!