Be Prepared for Those Unexpected, Tough Conversations With Your Child.

Be ready for tough conversations at unexpected moments!  

While I often promote setting times aside for big topics, parents need to be ready at any given moment to answer their child’s tough questions. 

If you are reading this blog, it is because you like the idea of being prepared. So how do you prepare for something that unexpected? 

Well, I recommend practicing or establishing in your mind what you would like to say when your child catches you off guard. This may sound silly; however, it will save you from potentially reacting in a way that you regret later! 

Some of my personal quick tips are:  

• What an interesting question. 

• Wow I didn’t know you knew anything about that topic.  Do you have any questions? 

• Hmm let me think about how to best answer you. 

• I’m so glad you came to me with this information.  

• That’s a big topic.  Do you want to talk more about it? 

  
  

The other thing I recommend is to pay attention to your body language and facial expressions! As I have said many times, your child will often remember your emotional response more than the words you use. If your child just caught you off guard and asked what sex means, for example, and you tense up, or scowl, think about what message you just gave them about sex? Regardless of the words you use your child may forever think of sex as a scary topic that brings up negative feelings. 

I understand that some parents first thoughts here may be “good, I don’t want them to ever think about sex as a child,” however think about this; what if later that same week they see or hear about sexual content at school and do not tell you about it. If later, you find out through a teacher or another parent that your child was exposed to something of a sexual manor and didn’t come to you how would you react? I hope you would realize that they didn’t come to you because of your previous reaction of scowling. I would hope that you would compose yourself, stay calm, curious, and approach them with understanding. However, you may find yourself upset with your child for not coming to you, so instead, you approach them with frustration which will further their negative perceptions on sex. This second scary reaction could reinforce to your child why it is not a safe topic to talk with you about now, or in the future.  

Megan