What is it like to Bring your Child to Therapy?

When meeting a child in my office for the first time, I ask a parent or guardian to be present. 

I do this for many reasons, such as making sure the child is comfortable, I want to see how the child and caregiver interact, I like to ask questions about the child’s birth and history, I want them both to understand what therapy is, and for them to get a feel for me as a practitioner, etc. I ask them both many things but the question that usually provides me with the most insight is when I ask the child and parent to individually answer “what brings you to my office today?”  

I understand the obvious, that part of the reason the above question gives me great information is because of the story they are about to tell, however the actual story is usually less important to me than the other details I am observing. Does the child know why they are going to counseling? Do they have a clue what a therapist is? If they do know why they were brought in, can they say it out loud? These observations tell me a lot about where the child is in their journey and how far we have to go. It also gives me information about the guardian’s comfort level or ability to explain things to their child. 

When the parent answers the same question, I observe their body language. Is the parent showing anxiety while talking? Does the parent try to edit their words, and if so, why? Does the child not know certain details, or does the parent believe they are protecting them by not saying out loud what the child already knows? 

Now, please know that I am not being transparent with my thoughts to bring ANY shame or guilt. I am ALWAYS proud of a caregiver bringing their child into my office. A loving parent is bringing their valuable and precious baby to a stranger to get help, all while being vulnerable. This in itself should be praised! I simply list these observations in this blog because if I can gather important information from the way tough things are talked about with or in front of your child, so can they.  

If you worry that your child did not get the message you were trying to deliver because your emotions were too high, have the conversation another time. Like I have said in past blogs, if your child has already witnessed something or asks questions about adult things, they are ready for tough conversations. 

So, if you have already had a tough conversation the words are out there, now you can have the conversation again in the tone you think is appropriate.  

There is no perfect way to parent, but if this blog spoke to you, please check out my other blogs on my website.

Parenting is hard, let's do it together!

Megan.